(no subject)

[grandtrashking]

(Continued from here)

[Now Tobio's getting under his skin, when the intent was the other way around, because what the hell is this kid going on about? And calling him an idiot on top of it? The audacity.

Fortunately, Tooru knows Hajime would kick his ass if he got into another fight, so he behaves. For the moment. But what the hell Tobio?]

And what lesson was that?

[He'll sort the rest out later.]

Comments

[shadow_mountain]

[Kageyama was grateful that Oikawa hadn't laughed at him. A laugh right then would have probably ruined everything he was feeling. He was trying so hard to push aside his insecurities, his fears and worries, he was doing his best to believe what Oikawa was trying to tell him...

And maybe he was getting a little lost in the kiss. His heart pounding, pulse racing and when Oikawa finally pulled back he felt it was harder to catch his breath. Kageyama's cheeks were flushed and eyes still closed, and when the other spoke he knew he should probably have been angry. Any other time he might have yelled. The corner of his lips curved upwards.]

... I'd be more serious if you weren't a dick about it.

[grandtrashking]

[The blush is disgustingly adorable, and Tooru takes every ounce of self-restraint not to comment on that, though he definitely would later because that's in his top moments of things to hold over his pretty little junior's head.

He himself is blushing with a dumb grin, but doesn't catch on quickly enough to that in his thinking of how to tease Tobio even more just to get a little rise out of him.]

I can't help it when you're easy to pick on and make angry! Such an easy target Tobio-chan.~ You should learn to work on that, you get so riled up!

[As if Tooru doesn't get riled up either, but he forces all of that down and puts that energy into his serves to keep himself from exploding.]

[shadow_mountain]

[Way to ruin a perfectly nice moment, Oikawa!

The blush paled some as realisation splashed his face like ice water. As if Oikawa would suddenly be nicer to him after... No, it didn't matter. Kageyama was done here now.

His arms moved, sliding back until he could press his hands to Oikawa's chest. And then he pushed. He put distance between themselves and scowled. If Oikawa wanted him riled up then fine. He was pissed off. And hurt. And the hurt only made him more pissed off.]

Then lets see if you can hit a moving target.

[And then Kageyama turned and started to walk away. What was the point in staying if all he was going to get was a mindfuck? Emotional whiplash. One second hot and the next cold. Gentle actions and hateful words. Kageyama didn't need to deal with that. What he needed was to go home, lock his door and do his best to forget any of this happened.]

[grandtrashking]

[That backfired on him, yet he should have expected Tobio of all people to blow up on him for the teasing. Not everyone could handle his teasing, not the way he did it with how the words could also come out as a threat.

Though being pushed back made him lose his footing and stumble backwards as he grabbed at air, falling on his butt in the process and cursing from the impact before getting up and chasing after Tobio. Walking as quickly as he can with a frown.

Why was he even running after him, shouldn't he let it be that? He's always teased and acted superior over him, so why's he chasing after him now like some desperate puppy? It makes no sense but he does so anyway.]

You shouldn't challenge someone like that, they might take you up on it and you'll be caught by them. Just wait, I wasn't meaning to be an asshole. Fine, sorry, okay? Just wait for fucks sakes.

["Sorry" comes easy to his friends and best friend, but apologies to people he's been jealous of are harder. Some people he just can't apologize to no matter what, because of his damned "worthless pride". Pride he's swallowing at the moment for the sake of something unknown, even if his tone is more frustrated than apologetic, but there's sincerity in the awkward words.]

Listen. I don't know why, but I like you, I really do. I'm jealous of that talent of yours but that's different, well.. maybe not but whatever, not the point of what I'm trying to say here. You've always gotten under my skin since you were a first year at Kitagawa Daiichi, being a better setter and driving me insane by it. But you're good, and I think that-- ugh I'm sorry okay?

[shadow_mountain]

[Kageyama winced. He'd not meant to push that hard... Guilt washed through him and his steps faltered, but he was already walking and turning around now was out of the question. He just needed to go. That was all he could think. His guard had been lowered and Oikawa's words had stung. Without a barrier in place to shield him from that, he'd felt them in a way that made him feel sick.

He didn't wait. Kageyama kept walking. Oikawa hadn't meant to be an asshole, it just came naturally he supposed. And did he really want that in his life? Could he stand to allow himself to care for someone who belittled him and teased him without mercy? Was it even worth it?

His steps, without him really realising, did slow down though. His head was lowered, eyes focused on the ground in front of him.]

... Okay.

[What else could he say? Kageyama wasn't good with words at the best of times. And all of a sudden he just felt tired.

Oikawa had always been someone he'd admired. Someone he'd liked. Take volleyball away and he'd liked Oikawa as a person, until he'd realised he was actually a jerk. But Kageyama wasn't sure that Oikawa could do the same. Wasn't sure he could separate volleyball and Kageyama. So he was always going to get bullied by the other.

But maybe he was wrong? Maybe Oikawa could change, or at least learn to take the venom out of his words. Could he learn not to be so jealous of him though? Would that ruin any kind of relationship they tried to form? Kageyama had never been in one before but he knew enough that jealousy was a bad thing.]

You're sorry. Fine. But what does my talent have to do with... with... whatever's going on right now?

[grandtrashking]

[He was about to start getting demanding if he hadn't noticed Tobio slowing down, and quickly shut his mouth once he did notice that. He was trying to apologize without being antagonistic, even if everything in him was telling him that he's an idiot for it anyway with acting before thinking.

Tobio as a person, from what what Kunimi & Kindaichi have said, is a hot-headed do everything on his own kind of person from middle school. Yet what Tooru's seen, even with briefly separating volleyball from him, Tobio's a good person who seems to be trying his best even if he barks at some teammates. And though Tooru would never admit that he reminds him a bit of himself, he does see the comparisons between them and it irritates him too much. Yet, that similarity is part of what draws him to Tobio without even realising it.]

Of course I'm sorry, why wouldn't I be or say it?

[It flew out of his mouth without hesitation, causing a frustrated groan and folding his arms and pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment.

Good going, great way to start that off. There's a few huffs and before he can give Tobio the chance to hit him or run off more, he just starts talking. Whether it's a good idea or not, he just talks.]

No, you know what, ignore that. Yeah I'm sorry and-- I don't know, I'm jealous of you I guess. I wanna be the best setter, so I work my ass off, and seeing you pull all that off with ease in matches? It pisses me off. But you're nothing like what Kunimi-chan and Kindaichi say. You've grown up and got mature, I guess.

[He snaps his mouth shut before he can say anything more, forcing himself to look away at the ground with a conflicted expression. He's usually a lot better with his words and sure of himself, but this entire thing is just frustrating and confusing to him. He doesn't even get the reason, so he just huffs again with a shrug, still looking away.

How was being honest about this so hard?]

Really, I don't know.

[shadow_mountain]

[Maybe that was what he was. A hot head. A 'do everything yourself' type. Maybe he was an asshole, awkwardly bumbling through life because he found people hard to read. Volleyball was easier. Identifying where the ball would go and the precise place to send it for maximum effect was simple. But people?

Kageyama slowed to a stop.]

...

The way you are... The way you act with people. I'm jealous of that. I'm only good at this. Volleyball. It... [He frowned, glaring down at the ground like it had somehow offended him. Kageyama didn't want to look up. Didn't want to see how Oikawa was taking this confession of his.

But it was a two-way street. If Oikawa was saying things then he should as well, right?]

What's the point in being jealous of me? You're already the best. You call me a genius, so what? If it's true it's the only thing I have. Why does it matter? Take it away and I'm nobody.

[No one would notice him. No one would care. All he had was volleyball. Luckily it was something he loved to near obsession. It was something he was good at. Something he could focus on, understand, something that took his mind off of how damn lonely he could get.

Because being part of a team, a team that had actually gone to great lengths to help him, gave him friends by default. He could even grudgingly admit that the idiot Hinata was a friend. But take volleyball away and he'd have nothing. Take volleyball away from Oikawa and he'd still have the world at his feet. Kageyama really couldn't understand why Oikawa was so jealous of him, when Oikawa had everything.

Kageyama took a deep breath and his eyes closed.]

Maybe... I want to be somebody... to someone...

[grandtrashking]

[Tooru keeps his own eyes away from Tobio, arms still crossed as he listens. Tobio's jealous of how he is with people, is he? That can't really be helped, Tooru's always been social and good with -most- people.]

That's not a bad thing Tobio. You're good at what you're good at. And that's a lie, if you weren't at least passable with people, would you be on a team working with them or asked me to show you my jump serves, or when you begged for my advice? The answer is no.

[It's not said as a compliment, more as matter of fact, like how he gave his advice before the spring high prelims. Just stated with little emotion behind him as if it were obvious to everyone around them.

But then he looks up at being called the best, and can't help but scoff. Sure, he knows he's damn good with serves and spikes, and decent with receives, but even the best with sets? Tobio thinks that? It baffles him because this whole time Tooru has been working to keep himself caught up and better as much as he can as a setter.]

Do you really think you're the only one who would be nothing without volleyball? C'mon, don't be stupid. If volleyball got taken from me, I'd be stuck here in Miyagi doing who knows what after graduation.

[Whether Tooru realizes it or not, his own tightly pushed together cracks are widening just by saying that. Acknowledging a truth he's denied himself to think about. He'd be nothing. His friends are going their separate ways, and he's sure the other third years have their own plans besides volleyball with backup plans in place, while all he has is just the sport he's loved since childhood. Take volleyball away from him and he'd be devastated.]

If you want to be something to someone, then... I'm right here, aren't I. You already admitted feelings for me and kissed me, and clearly I kissed you back. That should say something already. Are you afraid of asking me to be something more?

[shadow_mountain]

[Kageyama's lips twitched. He wasn't good with people. The only reason he was where he was was because the rest of his team were better with people. They'd helped him. Had the patience to teach him. Even now he had troubles, but if it wasn't for his teammates being willing to work with him and overlook a lot of his issues.

The fact he was good at what he did as a setter probably helped.

His head lifted then, gaze moving to the side to look at Oikawa.

No... he wasn't so egotistical that he believed he was the only one. But he could only talk about himself, not anyone else. It surprised him that Oikawa would have those feelings too. He was popular, wasn't he? How many girls hounded him wherever he went? He had friends, didn't he?

But then he went and said more. Kageyama's breath caught and held.

Was he afraid?

Yes. He was. This terrified him. Wanting something...]

Yeah. I am. But I want to. To be something more... even if it scares me.

[Because didn't that mean, even if, for some reason, volleyball stopped being something he could do. At least he would have something else in his life to keep him going? Someone else. He'd stop being nothing... and he'd be important to someone.]

[grandtrashking]

[Sure he was popular, all the girls wanted his attention and he gladly gave it, but a nagging fear his behind the confidence of flirting that they were only interested because of him being Seijoh's captain.

Which was ridiculous, because he also had the good looks to be popular as well, but he wasn't indestructible like he acted around most people.

Tooru can't help but give Tobio a skeptical look for a quick second before closing his eyes and shaking his head. On one hand, he got Tobio to admit it, but on the other it didn't seem to be enough. Not for him. He wants to tell him to cut the bullshit and just say it straight, in those exact words, but that could drive him off again.]

Well. Then just say it. Obviously I haven't gone anywhere. What is it you want then, to be...

[He clears his throat, a noticeable blush forming at thinking the words. Maybe saying that wouldn't be easy after all.]

To be mine?

[shadow_mountain]

[Mine. Hearing that word caused something within his chest to ache, to tighten enough he found his next breath coming short.

No, no Oikawa was still there. Had followed him and still tried to talk to him. Still seemed intent on... whatever this was. But it was Kageyama who was trying to run away even though he didn't truly want to. What he wanted, was right in front of him. Only it was so hard to reach out and ask for it. Oikawa wanted him to say the words but hadn't he already? Hadn't he said enough of what he wanted? Why did he have to spell it out?

For a moment his eyes closed and he took a shaky breath, psyching himself up for what he needed to do. As afraid as he was, because feelings were terrifying, Kageyama was more afraid of Oikawa getting tired of waiting and walking away.

When his eyes opened he turned and moved. He refused to think, just act. Kageyama stepped closer to Oikawa and lifted a hand, hooking it behind the others neck as he pressed himself close and dropped his head onto Oikawa's shoulder. When he spoke, the words were muffled.]

I wanna be yours. I want... this. I want you.

[grandtrashking]

[Tooru just lets Tobio approach and put his arms around him, welcoming the touch without any hint of tenseness. And the confirmation is all he needs to hear as he wraps his arms gently, tenderly, around Tobio's waist while linking his fingers together without giving an out of escape this time.

The king wanted him? Now he has him, and there's no escape now.]

If the king wishes it, he'll get it. I'll be yours, Tobio. Your boyfriend.

[Tooru's tone is shockingly kind and gentle, yet confident, and he holds Tobio like that for a little while before realising they're still in public and being all mushy like that. And god help him if Matsukawa or Hanamaki caught him here, he wouldn't hear the end of it with their merciless teasing and gasps that they could have sworn he was in love with Iwaizumi, or something about a bet between them. He didn't want a moment to be ruined, so he pulls away just enough with an idea.]

C'mon, let's go back to my place. It's not that far from here. I'm not suggesting we do anything, just to be somewhere a little less public, I don't want to run into specific people out here is all. They'd never let me live it down at school.

[shadow_mountain]

[There was a slight tensing of his shoulders, fingers curling just a little against the back of Oikawa's neck at that hated word... But a moment later he relaxed. He wasn't angry, the reaction was more out of habit. He supposed he'd need to get used to 'The Great King' calling him that.

What he wasn't sure he'd get used to hearing was what Oikawa said next. Boyfriend. That's what he'd asked for, but to hear it said so easily sent a shiver through Kageyama. That's what they were now...? So weird. This felt unreal. And further making the situation unreal, Oikawa went on to offer a suggestion. Even if he wasn't offering something, Kageyama's cheeks flamed anyway.]

Right... yeah. We should.

[He'd almost forgotten they were in public too. He didn't need his own teammates discovering this. He'd never live it down.]

Your place then.

[grandtrashking]

[The word is also strange for him to use towards Tobio, after all he'd been using other words to describe him, far unkinder ones. But boyfriend has a nice ring to it as well, and could get used to referring to Tobio by that in conversation.

But not right now, not immediately to his friends. Later.

Pulling himself fully away from Tobio, Tooru points behind him, directing the way they'd need to walk and turns around without saying anything and starts heading that way. Being a master of overthinking things, million thoughts are going through his head and his previously calm composure cracks as his face turns redder than a cherry as his heart pounds in his chest. That entire thing isn't something he'd planned or expected, but it wasn't something he'll complain about either.

It takes him about a solid minute to realize he'd said nothing after turning around before he manages to get something out, in a less than kept together tone, much to his embarrassment.]

Keep up, and don't get lost on me. I don't wanna have to come find a lost little bird who can't find his way to a nest.

[shadow_mountain]

[The silence was good. Kageyama didn't take it for the awkward kind, maybe because he really didn't get what was awkward, so it didn't bother him. It was a good chance to regroup, to gather his thoughts and calm his still racing heart. It was time enough to get his shit together so he didn't keep looking like an inexperienced loser.

He had a boyfriend now... And that boyfriend was a rival. Except not really. Maybe a bit. But he'd always seen Hinata as his rival somehow. Oikawa was... someone he'd always looked up to. Sure he'd wanted to beat him, but Kageyama wanted to beat every team they confronted. So maybe a rival in that sense? Was he still a rival now? Kageyama had no idea how relationships worked so this would all be a learning experience he supposed.

Kageyama glanced up at Oikawa's back and frowned a little.

This all seemed like a bizarre. Like a strange dream. But was it a fantasy or a nightmare? Kageyama was tempted to say fantasy. So far the only nightmare element was just how awkward he'd been admitting to anything and Oikawa being a general jackass. Except both were on point and in keeping with reality.

He liked Oikawa. He liked kissing him. He liked that gentle tone he'd used before. Even liked his smile. Kageyama really wanted to see where all this would lead him.

Oikawa turned then and spoke. And Kageyama cocked his head to the side. Hadn't he been keeping up? He was only a few steps behind.]

Watch where you're going.

[grandtrashking]

[Tooru tenses up, still not used to being this open or vulnerable with anyone but his best friend, and it's doing a number on him with an internal fight to put back up any of the walls that had come crashing down minutes before. He knows if he does that and goes back to being antagonistic, he'd ruin whatever this was beginning to be for a relationship.

Tobio would always be a rival, that he's sure of, but this time instead of a bitter one, it could be something more beneficial. Fun, even.

A couple deep breaths later, and who knows how many emotions that flashed on his face in rapid succession, he manages to sputter out a response.]

I am! I know this neighbourhood well enough to walk it with my eyes closed, I grew up here.

[And then to change any subject because he was too damn curious not to bring it up, and to keep his thoughts from going in every direction so he could think straight.]

So. You and Chibi-chan, I could have sworn you two would be a thing. Too short or too much energy for you?

[shadow_mountain]

[He wasn't. He was being weird. Kageyama couldn't identify most of the expressions on Oikawa's face right then and wasn't going to even try. If he wanted to be odd then that was up to him. Let him. He just shrugged in response and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

Though with the next question it was his turn to tense up.]

... Why the hell do people think that?

[It wasn't the first time someone had asked or questioned the relationship between himself and Hinata. And the truth was... there was nothing there. He tolerated him. Sometimes, if he was in a good enough mood, he could almost admit they were probably friends. Or as close to them as Kageyama got.]

Not my type.

[Not that Kageyama actually knew what his type was... or what A type was. He just knew that Hinata wasn't it.]

And he likes girls.

[grandtrashking]

[And with that response, Tooru just laughs with his hands clutching his sides as he stops walking, a laugh that's not smug or faked, but a genuinely entertained one. It's hilarious to him for Tobio to ask that because that's something Tooru can relate to completely.]

It's how you act with each other, like Iwa-chan and I do. Everyone assumes we're together, or they ask when either of us will get together.

[Then, between laughs, Tooru smirks, a terrible thought coming to mind he just can't help but tease with. He knows he might get snapped at but it'll be oh so worth it, especially because Tobio's snapped him out of overthinking things.]

So what is your type then? Me? Is it just me or guys like me?

[Tooru knows his type, in both sexes, and it was obvious to him now considering his past girlfriends and the one boyfriend he'd had when exploring his bisexuality his second year. It was people that could challenge him and stand up to his frosty temper. People that could keep up with his fiery passion for volleyball. And most importantly, people that could break down enough of his walls to start to see the real him, no matter how hard he fought back against it.]

[shadow_mountain]

Oh...

[Was that really a thing? He didn't think he acted in a romantic way with Hinata. They yelled at each other most of the time. Fought with each other the rest. There were only a few occasions where they actually saw eye-to-eye and that was on the court.

Still, there was something about the way Oikawa was laughing at him. Kageyama supposed he should have been angry, and there was a little of it there, just not enough for an outburst. Mainly because he liked the way it sounded. It was nice when it was honest.

The question was actually not a surprise. Kageyama had expected to be asked since he'd made the mistake of using the word. It was just his answer wasn't one that was readily available. He had no idea. It wasn't something he'd ever thought about. So he supposed... there was only really one reply.

He shrugged.]

Guess it's just you.

[He'd never liked anyone else. Just Oikawa. So as far as he was concerned his type was Oikawa.]

[grandtrashking]

[The answer only sends Tooru into another fit of laughter, enjoying, really enjoying this exchange. Not because of how he's playfully mocking Tobio, but it's the reactions and the honesty from him that's put him in such a good mood.

Tobio, he thinks, ticks every box of what Tooru's type is, and maybe then some. A rival that can keep up with him and not back down from his temper or be burned by the passion he has for volleyball? Someone who knows how important volleyball really is? Tobio could get him. And here Tooru thought the perfect romantic partner couldn't exist. He already knew the perfect friend could, that was Iwaizumi, and he wasn't letting him go anywhere anytime soon.]

I didn't expect you to give me such a straightforward answer Tobio, but good to know!

[There was a real smile on his face once he calmed down from laughing, straightening himself back up with some deep breaths. He felt a little bad for just suddenly bursting in that fit of laughter, but Tooru hadn't laughed quite like that in a while, so he doesn't want to apologize for it.

Instead he just tilts his head in the way they needed to go, his house just a few minutes away down the road.]

C'mon, we don't have much further.

[shadow_mountain]

[Kageyama wasn't sure just what was so funny about what he'd said, but the longer Oikawa kept laughing the more he was beginning to get annoyed.

It started with a frown and a slight darkening of his expression, then Kageyama looked away. As nice as the laughter sounded, the fact he was being laughed at kind of pissed him off.]

Why's that so funny anyway...

[He grumbled and started walking again, following after Oikawa. And just as before, keeping up only a step or two behind the other.]

[grandtrashking]

It's nothing. Well, I guess it's something. You. To be specific, the way you answered me.

[Tooru shakes his head, actually feeling bad enough now to decide to apologize for the outburst, because Tobio's annoyance made him suddenly anxious again, insecurities gnawing away.]

I'm sorry. I haven't laughed like that in a while, I just couldn't help myself.

[But at least he's aware of Tobio following behind him, listening to the footsteps behind him, more intently than he should in case Tobio suddenly changed his mind.

But to force himself not to start thinking of scenarios where it's all some sick joke, Tooru has another idea.]

If you're going to be my... My boyfriend, then you can call me Tooru. Or whatever you want to. Just don't call me the things Iwa-chan does, that's kinda his thing.

[shadow_mountain]

[Kageyama thought about that. Honestly thought about Oikawa's words and felt the stress leaving his shoulders. The mild anger he'd been shimmering eased away. The laughter had bothered him because he'd worried it was at him. But he'd also liked the sound. If Oikawa honestly had been happy...]

Don't be sorry for laughing like that...

[He couldn't quite look at the other though. His words sounding awkward on his tongue, quieter than usual. While quiet, he was sincere.]

T-Tooru-san then...

[grandtrashking]

Fine fine, I take it back then. Instead I think I should thank you for that laugh then. And Tobio, you don't need to do that, not even Iwa-chan uses my first name unless he's really mad at me.

[Tooru sighs, shaking his head at Tobio's awkwardness, but doesn't laugh this time and just keeps going, only at a quicker pace so they can speak privately and Tooru's not having to look over his shoulder for his friends jumping him in the neighbourhood.

Fortunately, he's in luck when he makes it to his front door without any ambushes, both outside and inside.]

Come in, no one's home right now so my sister or Takeru can't even harass us and mom doesn't care who I bring over. If you're thirsty, there's drinks in the fridge, so grab what you want.

[It's only fair he allow Tobio to choose, since all his other friends are allowed to raid the fridge at this point. A boyfriend deserves the same privilege, surely. As long as no one steals his milk bread, then he'd raise a little hell.]

[shadow_mountain]

[Now he was just messing with him. Why tell him to use his first name and then tell him not to? He'd just stick with Oikawa. That was safe.

The arrived at Oikawa's home safely enough and Kageyama entered behind him, pausing to remove his shoes first before entering the house proper. Then he gave a shake of his head... but stopped when he realised he probably wouldn't mind a drink actually.]

Milk? If you have some, I'll take that.