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[grandtrashking]

[Tooru hates just how he got caught by Hajime during the match, feeling sorry for himself and sitting how he had been, all while saying he couldn't just sit around feeling that. Truthfully, he was pissed about Seijoh having lost to Karasuno. More than he'd cared to let on. They had the best team that year, but the freak duo of Tobio and Hinata got the better of them. Even with that perfect set to Hajime and him crashing after it, which still has him sore.

The worst thing is how his heart raced, both startled and how he feels when just being around him, but there's no way Hajime is into him, not like how Tooru feels about him.

Though now his mind is just on distracting himself from blurting out something that could ruin their friendship, and volleyball always helped that. Always helped him have a reason for feeling better. So his pace is quicker once they leave as he's ushering said best friend out the door, not wanting to stay for the awards ceremony when the match finished and Karasuno had won and angered him further.]

Iwa-chan, let's go practice at school. No one should be there, so I can work on my serves without anyone complaining about them.

[Or accidentally nail a teammate in the face because of being distracted. He needed them to be able to practice as hard as they could without him messing up.]

Comments

[grandtrashking]

[For someone who prides himself in being able to read people, he sure is doing a horrible job at reading his best friend at that very moment, too caught up in his own frustration to see anything past his own nose. Too caught up in being pissed at Ushijima and Kageyama both, as well as other feelings that he refuses to spit out.

Tooru does three things that show his mask is cracking. Each on their own aren't cause for concern, but all of them together is another story. First, he stops dead in his tracks. Second, he folds his arms over his chest. And third, more subtle, taps his fingers on his crossed arms.]

What makes you think that? I just asked if my promising not to overdo it would be enough to prove I'm not being stupid.

[Tooru knows it's not fair to start taking this out on Iwaizumi when it's not his problem. It's Tooru's problem and he needs to suck it up and just deal with it himself.

He'll have to definitely apologize for his shitty behaviour later, once he calms down.]

[furiously]

( see? the whole thing about emotions blinding things? this is case if not point right here. there are just a few handful of things that make oikawa blind and iwaizumi has to be his eyes. the stupid idiot.

and speaking of stupid idiot...

when oikawa stops, iwaizumi knows it's coming. maybe that's why he feels so antsy; that they're going to have a real argument instead of their usual bickering. unfortunately for them both, iwaizumi knows all of oikawa's tells. he stops, too, tips his head back slightly to exhale a long breath at the sky. why oikawa insists on torturing himself he will never know. )

What's the problem, Oikawa? ( he turns to face him, looks him up and down with all the impatience in his body. ) Don't get shitty with me just because you're pissed off.

[grandtrashking]

[There's a huff as Tooru narrows his eyes, the subtle tapping replaced with a tighter grip on his arm and the other hand balling into a fist, not that he'd actually strike Iwaizumi. His anger hadn't been that bad in years, but this is a close second if he had to take a guess.

Don't snap at him, he repeats in his head to himself, trying yet failing to force the bitterness and sour feelings back down. His eye twitches as he does the same thing, looking Iwaizumi up and down, mentally preparing for his ass to be kicked regardless.]

What's the problem? Oh I dunno, maybe for starters, my own best friend isn't believing me that I won't be stupid.

Second? As if it wa-- no nevermind, it's nothing. Forget it. Just that you don't believe me.

[Obviously more than that, but he's being too stubborn, and stupid, to admit that the loss is a bigger deal than it should be.]

[furiously]

( obviously it's more than that and it pisses iwaizumi off that oikawa isn't being forthright with it. it's more than annoying when he's like this, bottling everything up enough that it'll come out later at someone undeserving. iwaizumi isn't particularly deserving of it either, but he's the only one strong enough to take it. he also knows he's the only one who can get the truth out of oikawa, even if it takes longer than necessary.

so, he stalks toward him not unlike a feral cat, his body poised and alert. he's not looking to physically fight or anything like that, that's really not what they do in spite of the occasional tit-for-tat between them. he just keeps himself ready for whatever might happen. )

I believe you when you're telling the truth. ( he stops in front of oikawa, arms crossed over his chest for a moment before he drops his arms back down to his sides. his head tilts slightly to the side, chin jutting out slightly. ) You're sure as hell not doing anything to make me believe otherwise.

( a hand lifts and he jabs a finger at oikawa's chest. )

You're hiding something and being an obnoxious ass right now, Oikawa. What part of that isn't stupid?

[grandtrashking]

[In any normal situation, Tooru would deflate in front of Iwaizumi's threatening attitude and say he's sorry with a stupid smile, but instead he just adjusts his shoulders and straightens himself out to stand taller with a glare when approached. A dick move to use what little height over Iwaizumi he has to his advantage, but Tooru isn't going to back down, he also knows it won't work to his advantage either.

Rolling his eyes, Tooru huffs at being jabbed in the chest. Good thing it's Iwaizumi doing that, anyone else would have had their head ripped off with mood he's in, so he just takes it.]

Okay fine whatever, you're right, I'm pissed. Pissed we lost our chance again. There, happy now?

[And pissed he likely won't even be in Japan by the time the preliminaries roll around to watch the team even try again, as well as pissed that Kageyama improved so quickly even though that was to be expected.

He's very carefully avoiding addressing Iwaizumi by any name since the one that would come out would be the obvious sign of just how pissed he is, since 'hajime' would be what slips out.]

And when am I not an obnoxious ass, according to you? You'd know better than anyone.

[furiously]

( it's troublesome being friends with someone like oikawa. sometimes iwaizumi hates it, if he's honest. he's bold and obnoxious nearly all the time and that just makes iwaizumi want to strangle him. but, on the other hand, he knows he can do anything truly devastating to him or their friendship because against all odds, he actually values it quite a lot.

go figure.

he makes a tch sound and rolls his eyes before lifting a hand to rub at his face. while he may get it and understand, this isn't really where and how he wants to have a conversation about this. but, as usual, oikawa has to fiddle with any plans iwaizumi may have made along the way. )

You think you're the only one upset about it? This isn't how I wanted to end things.

( it isn't. he wanted to go on, too. it's their last year before everything changes. it would've been nice to have this chance. but, they didn't, and it sucks. and as upset as iwaizumi is about all of it, he has to keep control in front of oikawa because they both can't be upset about it in the same volatile way.

and that kinda pisses him off even more that he's got to curb himself to let oikawa act like a child. )

We did the best we could and it wasn't enough. ( he glares at oikawa and just knows what he's thinking. ) Your next time is on a bigger stage. Don't let some highschooler get the better of you.

[grandtrashking]

[Sometimes Tooru questioned his friendship with Iwaizumi, getting smacked or glared at when he only spoke the truth of how he felt, or nagging him about not practicing too much. Sometimes it was suffocating, even though Tooru knew damn well Iwaizumi did it because he cared and he'd probably have torn something if there wasn't someone to restrain him or talk sense into him when he's being stubborn beyond reason. Like right at this moment, when Tooru's letting his rational side be clouded by jealousy.

And yet. And yet this friendship meant everything to him. Enough to hide his real feelings to avoid destroying it, especially since they won't be in the same country together after graduation.]

I'm not stupid, I know you're upset about it too. We kept saying that we were gonna beat Ushiwaka! You could be a bit more upset at me too y'know, I'm the one that let the ball hit the ground and let us lose after all.

[He knows better than to think like that and take it on himself, but he's too blinded by anger to think. Though he does get a few deep breaths in, even if it's just to stop himself from being even worse, which backfires at the wording used.]

Some highschooler...? Unless you forgot, that highschooler is the same brat that replaced me in a match in middle school.

[Practice match, but it didn't matter either way, he's held onto that for too long.]

[furiously]

( one of them has to be rational, and that duty has fallen to iwaizumi. not to say he doesn't have any outbursts or fantasy mentality (he does, he's a normal teenage boy), but of the two of them, he's more grounded in reality.

or, as close to it as possible, anyway.

at the very least, his own jealousy is different enough that he can see when oikawa's is actually harmful to his health. but, iwaizumi's jealousy is also an entirely different story that isn't in the mix right now.

yet, at the core of it all, this is the friendship he's chosen to have and continue because he likes oikawa. for some reason. and that choice makes him care about oikawa's wellbeing. for better or for worse. )

Sometimes I wonder how your brain works... ( though that's said more to himself than oikawa ) The ball has to eventually hit the floor. It isn't your fault, you idiot. You didn't do it on purpose.

( he sighs and scrubs his face. this is so stupid. this whole thing is stupid. he doesn't want to argue over this. he kind of wants to be depressed a little more, too. this isn't how he wanted his high school volleyball career to end. but, it has and he has to go through his own stages of grief before he can move on. but, he has to put aside everything but anger because oikawa's being selfish. )

What you're doing now is your fault, though. You have to let that go. That has nothing to do with this. He's a good player, Oikawa, you have to accept that fact and deal with it or it's going to mess you up forever.

[grandtrashking]

[He wants to snap and yell that his brain works just like anyone else's, that his thoughts are perfectly fine, as well as the fact it was his fault. But something stops him. A moment of clarity? Or some kind of other thought.

Instead, he takes a deep breath and steps to the side to sit down against a wall, sliding down and tucking his knees close while refusing to make eye contact. Sitting down was probably the smarter of the two ideas in Tooru's mind, and walking off wouldn't do anything to help the current situation.]

I know... I know.

[He hates how right Iwaizumi is, and hates admitting that Kageyama is actually a good player. Even more that part of the reason is the boy watched him and learned that serve of his.]

I KNOW DAMMIT! He's good, better even! I know he's a good player and an even better setter, why do you think he pisses me off? Why do you think I want to beat him and rub it in his face that I won't lose? No matter what I do, he just keeps getting better and better.

[The other reason of why he's so bitter about it and hasn't let it go, aside from the talent and replacing him, is that he's jealous of the fact that Kageyama tossed to his ace. He didn't get pissy if Watari or Hanamaki did, only Kageyama.]

That's not the only thing that'll mess with me forever if I don't get over it.

[The last bit is barely audible, sounding more like a muffled muttering than anything clear like the sudden outburst.]

[furiously]

( briefly, iwaizumi wonders to himself if he started acting as oikawa does, what would happen. if he got all whiny and stupid over the dumbest things on the planet, what would oikawa do? it's probably for the best that he doesn't go down that path — and not only because it's a waste of time, but he would just never, ever do that.

but, anyway.

it's a good thing oikawa stops now instead of walking off, because iwaizumi wouldn't have followed. he would've just let him fuss and be obnoxious all on his own. he sighs again — feels like he's been doing that for a while now — and makes his way over to join oikawa. or, at least, stands over him, just in time to hear that muffled muttering. his brows knit together as he tries to figure out what that means and how it relates to what they're talking about.

he isn't really getting it. so, )

What do you mean? What's going to mess with you forever?

[grandtrashking]

[Of course, of course Iwaizumi had to hear that instead of lecturing him about that jab at himself. No matter how quiet he mutters anything, his best friend always seems to have some kind of superhuman hearing when it came to him. Though, he supposes it could come in handy, but it's only caused Tooru to shoot himself in the foot because of it.

And he never learns because instead of addressing that, he waves his hand like it's nothing with a shrug, all while still refusing eye contact when Iwaizumi gets closer. Like hell he's going to admit what that meant, not when it's clear that feelings aren't the same.

But maybe he can get away with a half-truth. Maybe. Even if his expression says otherwise.]

It's nothing. Just that if I don't go and learn from Blanco, I know I'll regret it. But I'll miss you guys, and I'll have to get over the fact we can't hang out every day.

[He'd already come to terms with that a week after he decided to go to Argentina, but he'd still miss everyone.]

[furiously]

( how many times does he have to lecture oikawa about taking jabs at himself? surely he knows all the counter-arguments (and insults) that iwaizumi gives him. sometimes even he's tired enough to skip it and focus on something else. and that something else is...

whatever this is.

because he... isn't really sure what this is. what's going on? the expression on oikawa's face is a little suspect, but iwaizumi doesn't know what it means, either. he takes a breath (not a sigh this time, but dangerously close) and kicks oikawa's foot. not hard, a light tap, really. )

You're an idiot.

( what else can he say? oikawa is always an idiot. but, this time he thinks there's something else going on and he's not going to foce oikawa to talk about it. he'll talk when he's ready.

probably.

anyway. it's cold outside and he doesn't really want to have a little sit down chat session on the side of the road so he holds out his hand to help oikawa up. )

And what would you do if you stayed here, huh? I won't be here, anyway, and no one else would hang out with you.

[grandtrashking]

Takes one to know one.

[Of course, he makes the childish remark, if only to stuff down his own bad mood further instead of snapping again when Iwaizumi kicks his foot. He knows he's an idiot, he's called himself one several times when doing stupid things or stealing glances at Iwaizumi when he should be paying attention to other things and gets nailed during practice in the head.

Or staring at the offered hand a few seconds longer before accepting the hand and getting up, although with a glare at the words spoken, keeping hold of Iwaizumi's hand a few moments longer before jerking it back and being stuffed in his pocket before letting out a huff and shaking off the glare. Maybe for once he'll think first before getting snippy.

Especially because he didn't know what he'd do, other than have an unhealthy focus on Kageyama.]

I'm sure Makki and Mattsun would! So would Yahaba, maybe Chibi-chan, since he seems to really look up to me. [a pause] You got in? When?

[If Iwaizumi had told him before, Tooru hadn't been paying attention. And if they were going to still be on the same side of the world, maybe he could risk speaking his feelings, but not until that was confirmed.]