grandtrashking | (no subject)

(no subject)

[Tooru hates just how he got caught by Hajime during the match, feeling sorry for himself and sitting how he had been, all while saying he couldn't just sit around feeling that. Truthfully, he was pissed about Seijoh having lost to Karasuno. More than he'd cared to let on. They had the best team that year, but the freak duo of Tobio and Hinata got the better of them. Even with that perfect set to Hajime and him crashing after it, which still has him sore.

The worst thing is how his heart raced, both startled and how he feels when just being around him, but there's no way Hajime is into him, not like how Tooru feels about him.

Though now his mind is just on distracting himself from blurting out something that could ruin their friendship, and volleyball always helped that. Always helped him have a reason for feeling better. So his pace is quicker once they leave as he's ushering said best friend out the door, not wanting to stay for the awards ceremony when the match finished and Karasuno had won and angered him further.]

Iwa-chan, let's go practice at school. No one should be there, so I can work on my serves without anyone complaining about them.

[Or accidentally nail a teammate in the face because of being distracted. He needed them to be able to practice as hard as they could without him messing up.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( and that's exactly why he gets caught, too, is because he's feeling sorry for himself. yeah, it sucks that they lost — it always sucks when they lose — but dwelling on it isn't going to change what happened. one has to grow, learn, adapt, and change in order to keep up. and iwaizumi knows that oikawa will do all those things, eventually. he's still too caught up in his head about kageyama; which he gets, too, but thinks oikawa's taken things too far.

but, that's something for another time.

so, when he goes out that day, he doesn't even bother going to oikawa's house because he won't be there. he won't be at any of the places he usually haunts because he's an idiot and a glutton for punishment. sometimes iwaizumi hates having a narrowed, pin-point accuracy when it comes to oikawa; it's annoying at best, irritating at worst. so, it's no surprise to him to find oikawa torturing himself here, nor is it when he's practically bulldozed out.

because oikawa isn't normal, he's masking things as he is wont to do and iwaizumi will let him for a little longer. things haven't reached the apex yet, he's got a little more time before he has to force it out of him... so, he goes. hands shoved in his pockets as he ambles along beside oikawa, eyes straight ahead but keeps him in his periphery. )

What makes you think I won't complain about them?

[He can't help but be riled up by or fixated on the first year, not ever since it became personal during middle school. He's petty and that's motivated him, to the point of overworking himself almost into the ground at times. He's terrible about taking breaks when he gets into his moods about people that he's threatened by, even if he does take one day off a week.

But he huffs and pouts once Hajime makes that remark, shooting him a look.]

Because I know you can hit them back no matter how hard I hit them, and do you really think the coaches would be happy if I hurt any of them during practice?

[He'd end up getting an earful and feeling worse about losing if either thing happened.]

Edited 2021-10-31 04:51 (UTC)

( feh. it's only personal because oikawa has made it personal. this isn't something they talk about much because oikawa gets pissed instantly and iwaizumi just doesn't have the patience to deal with it when there are dozens upon dozens of other things they can talk about or do. he'd like to help oikawa get over it, but he also knows oikawa isn't ready to let go of it for whatever reason.

he sighs and rolls his eyes, keeps his head tilted back just enough to watch the sky. it's not that he minds going to practice a few rounds or anything. this is just their normal routine. better to do it in the gym rather than at one of their homes as there isn't nearly enough space and considering the dark cloud looming over oikawa...

well, that's just asking for a broken window. )

Fine. But, when I say we're done, we're done.

[Maybe if he sees Karasuno get beaten at Nationals he'll finally let up, but between his pride and anger at losing their last chance to go up against Shiratorizawa, that might take a while even then. Especially after Ushijima insulted said pride. He appreciates Hajime for looking after him, but also gets annoyed by his grudge brought up even if he knows his best friend means well. Especially when threats of getting a headbutt lie in wait depending on what he says. Or a volleyball to the back of his head.

His gives him a not very threatening glare, though he agrees in his own way, but has to complain for the sake of it.]

That could be at any time, even if we're not playing very long! Iwa-chan why are you so mean... But fine fine whatever you say, as long as you'll practice with me.

Edited 2021-11-01 07:48 (UTC)

( look. oikawa just asks for those things by the way he acts or the things he says. it isn't iwaizumi's fault, but oikawa's when he gets headbutts and/or volleyballs to the back of his head. nevermind iwaizumi has developed some sort of anger issues toward oikawa that he doesn't know where it comes from. (especially because he refuses to look at things deeper, there will be answers waiting there that he isn't ready to hear yet.)

he exhales a breath that's more huff than it is a sigh and shakes his head. how many times has he thought about what it'd be like if they weren't friends. and somehow he never actually gets far in that thought before it gets banished somewhere else.

he can see the way oikawa looks at him and he glances askance before returning his gaze to the road in front of them. )

I said I would, idiot. But, I know how you are when you're in these stupid moods. Someome has to make sure you make it to the next practice.

[He brings it on himself for it all, and yet still has his own doubts. Confidence in spades at the same time, but the same doubt creeping behind it whenever he's lost. And he hates just how well Iwaizumi can read him like an open book, seeing through more than he can hide behind his childishness. Yet at the same time is grateful that someone can put up with his pettiness & stubbornness and knock him back down to earth.

He'd be pretty lost without Iwaizumi, not that he can bring himself to admit that out loud, because admitting that would mean admitting other things. He'll just keep that to himself until it's forced out of him.]

Hey! I'm not gonna push myself that hard, even if I'm in "a stupid mood." Don't you trust me enough that I'd know better than to do that?

[He knows he's likely to be called out on his bullshit if he keeps it up, but like usual is acting like it's not as big a deal as it is to him. It's fine, he's fine, and getting frustrations out through volleyball will calm him down, or so he tells himself.]

( it isn't something oikawa has to admit, iwaizumi already knows it, can tell it from the way oikawa acts. whether he wants to admit things or not, he's got tells that iwaizumi can pick out. it's one of his secrets to reading oikawa over the years. that book became severely less difficult to parse once he figured some things out.

granted, because oikawa is oikawa, sometimes the things iwaizumi thinks he knows, aren't always what might be going on.

but, anyway.

iwaizumi turns down a street and pretends he doesn't care if oikawa follows him or not. )

No, I don't trust you enough when it comes to that. And— ( he glances over his shoulder, eyes sharp ) if you're going too hard and getting too pissed, I'm going to leave.

[Naturally, Tooru follows, as he normally does a couple of footsteps behind, letting Iwaizumi take the lead. If only to be able to stop and take off elsewhere if his mood got bad enough, which all things considered over the past two days and his current mood, is a surprise it hasn't. Yet.

And the glance as well keeps him in line at the moment, with his own offended glare at Iwaizumi's remark. Usually he'd just let something like that roll off his shoulders like it was nothing, but some of it sticks this time, a small bit of doubt creeping in.

Quickly the glare becomes a sigh and smile with a shrug.]

C'mon, have a little faith in me why don't you, I'm not going to overdo it when we both know I have a chance to go further after graduation. Ruin that by being stupid? No way. You don't really think I'd throw that all away when I can make a name for myself, do you?

[A chance that was selfish and meant leaving everything in Japan behind him by going to the other side of the world.]

( he can try and leave, but this isn't the kind of mood oikawa needs to be alone with. yeah, he's annoying like this — but when is he not? — but it would be even worse if he was left to fester alone. that iwaizumi has to take care of him is also annoying, but over the past few years it's given him some insight to himself that's proven invaulable. so, it's not all bad.

not that he'd say anything to oikawa about that. he's insufferable already.

he snorts, slows his step long enough for them to be side by side, then slugs (lightly) oikawa on the shoulder. )

Yeah, I do think you're that stupid.

( because as much as he knows oikawa's sights are aimed at the pros, he still lets anger and pettiness cloud his vision sometimes. it's why iwaizumi's still here. someone has to clear it for him. )

[Iwaizumi falling into step with him solidifies Tooru's decision to remain right there and not bolt, feeling like he'd be caught a lot easier that way. As well as losing any head start if chased.

Instead he just pouts at the slug, dramatics coming out to keep his mask up. Even if he should talk about it and not fake how angry with himself he actually is, but he's too stubborn to.]

Is this any way to treat your best friend, by hitting him? Mean. Iwa-chan is mean.

[He huffs, then shakes his head, looking for some kind of way to swat that stupid doubt away before it ate at him.]

Would it make any difference if I promised I won't do anything stupid? Would that be satisfactory enough for you?

[Tooru doesn't catch the tone he used, being a bit annoyed with Iwaizumi for not having faith in him, even if he's right.]

( it isn't that iwaizumi doesn't have faith in oikawa. in fact, he has a great deal of it — a lot of it blind faith, at that. but, there's something about kageyama that puts oikawa in a terrible state that iwaizumi thinks that he maybe can't see his left from right, let alone how to pull back before getting himself into trouble. oikawa does go to great lengths to take care of himself, but sometimes emotions can blind.

he sighs and once again shoves his hands in his pockets. there are times when he feels... antsy, jittery? something, when he's with oikawa, especially like this. when things seem light, but they run much deeper. both hands curl into fists within the confines of his pockets and he flexes them a little as if that will somehow burn off that energy that's crackling beneath his skin. )

You act like me being concerned about your health is offensive.

[For someone who prides himself in being able to read people, he sure is doing a horrible job at reading his best friend at that very moment, too caught up in his own frustration to see anything past his own nose. Too caught up in being pissed at Ushijima and Kageyama both, as well as other feelings that he refuses to spit out.

Tooru does three things that show his mask is cracking. Each on their own aren't cause for concern, but all of them together is another story. First, he stops dead in his tracks. Second, he folds his arms over his chest. And third, more subtle, taps his fingers on his crossed arms.]

What makes you think that? I just asked if my promising not to overdo it would be enough to prove I'm not being stupid.

[Tooru knows it's not fair to start taking this out on Iwaizumi when it's not his problem. It's Tooru's problem and he needs to suck it up and just deal with it himself.

He'll have to definitely apologize for his shitty behaviour later, once he calms down.]

( see? the whole thing about emotions blinding things? this is case if not point right here. there are just a few handful of things that make oikawa blind and iwaizumi has to be his eyes. the stupid idiot.

and speaking of stupid idiot...

when oikawa stops, iwaizumi knows it's coming. maybe that's why he feels so antsy; that they're going to have a real argument instead of their usual bickering. unfortunately for them both, iwaizumi knows all of oikawa's tells. he stops, too, tips his head back slightly to exhale a long breath at the sky. why oikawa insists on torturing himself he will never know. )

What's the problem, Oikawa? ( he turns to face him, looks him up and down with all the impatience in his body. ) Don't get shitty with me just because you're pissed off.

[There's a huff as Tooru narrows his eyes, the subtle tapping replaced with a tighter grip on his arm and the other hand balling into a fist, not that he'd actually strike Iwaizumi. His anger hadn't been that bad in years, but this is a close second if he had to take a guess.

Don't snap at him, he repeats in his head to himself, trying yet failing to force the bitterness and sour feelings back down. His eye twitches as he does the same thing, looking Iwaizumi up and down, mentally preparing for his ass to be kicked regardless.]

What's the problem? Oh I dunno, maybe for starters, my own best friend isn't believing me that I won't be stupid.

Second? As if it wa-- no nevermind, it's nothing. Forget it. Just that you don't believe me.

[Obviously more than that, but he's being too stubborn, and stupid, to admit that the loss is a bigger deal than it should be.]

( obviously it's more than that and it pisses iwaizumi off that oikawa isn't being forthright with it. it's more than annoying when he's like this, bottling everything up enough that it'll come out later at someone undeserving. iwaizumi isn't particularly deserving of it either, but he's the only one strong enough to take it. he also knows he's the only one who can get the truth out of oikawa, even if it takes longer than necessary.

so, he stalks toward him not unlike a feral cat, his body poised and alert. he's not looking to physically fight or anything like that, that's really not what they do in spite of the occasional tit-for-tat between them. he just keeps himself ready for whatever might happen. )

I believe you when you're telling the truth. ( he stops in front of oikawa, arms crossed over his chest for a moment before he drops his arms back down to his sides. his head tilts slightly to the side, chin jutting out slightly. ) You're sure as hell not doing anything to make me believe otherwise.

( a hand lifts and he jabs a finger at oikawa's chest. )

You're hiding something and being an obnoxious ass right now, Oikawa. What part of that isn't stupid?

[In any normal situation, Tooru would deflate in front of Iwaizumi's threatening attitude and say he's sorry with a stupid smile, but instead he just adjusts his shoulders and straightens himself out to stand taller with a glare when approached. A dick move to use what little height over Iwaizumi he has to his advantage, but Tooru isn't going to back down, he also knows it won't work to his advantage either.

Rolling his eyes, Tooru huffs at being jabbed in the chest. Good thing it's Iwaizumi doing that, anyone else would have had their head ripped off with mood he's in, so he just takes it.]

Okay fine whatever, you're right, I'm pissed. Pissed we lost our chance again. There, happy now?

[And pissed he likely won't even be in Japan by the time the preliminaries roll around to watch the team even try again, as well as pissed that Kageyama improved so quickly even though that was to be expected.

He's very carefully avoiding addressing Iwaizumi by any name since the one that would come out would be the obvious sign of just how pissed he is, since 'hajime' would be what slips out.]

And when am I not an obnoxious ass, according to you? You'd know better than anyone.

( it's troublesome being friends with someone like oikawa. sometimes iwaizumi hates it, if he's honest. he's bold and obnoxious nearly all the time and that just makes iwaizumi want to strangle him. but, on the other hand, he knows he can do anything truly devastating to him or their friendship because against all odds, he actually values it quite a lot.

go figure.

he makes a tch sound and rolls his eyes before lifting a hand to rub at his face. while he may get it and understand, this isn't really where and how he wants to have a conversation about this. but, as usual, oikawa has to fiddle with any plans iwaizumi may have made along the way. )

You think you're the only one upset about it? This isn't how I wanted to end things.

( it isn't. he wanted to go on, too. it's their last year before everything changes. it would've been nice to have this chance. but, they didn't, and it sucks. and as upset as iwaizumi is about all of it, he has to keep control in front of oikawa because they both can't be upset about it in the same volatile way.

and that kinda pisses him off even more that he's got to curb himself to let oikawa act like a child. )

We did the best we could and it wasn't enough. ( he glares at oikawa and just knows what he's thinking. ) Your next time is on a bigger stage. Don't let some highschooler get the better of you.

[Sometimes Tooru questioned his friendship with Iwaizumi, getting smacked or glared at when he only spoke the truth of how he felt, or nagging him about not practicing too much. Sometimes it was suffocating, even though Tooru knew damn well Iwaizumi did it because he cared and he'd probably have torn something if there wasn't someone to restrain him or talk sense into him when he's being stubborn beyond reason. Like right at this moment, when Tooru's letting his rational side be clouded by jealousy.

And yet. And yet this friendship meant everything to him. Enough to hide his real feelings to avoid destroying it, especially since they won't be in the same country together after graduation.]

I'm not stupid, I know you're upset about it too. We kept saying that we were gonna beat Ushiwaka! You could be a bit more upset at me too y'know, I'm the one that let the ball hit the ground and let us lose after all.

[He knows better than to think like that and take it on himself, but he's too blinded by anger to think. Though he does get a few deep breaths in, even if it's just to stop himself from being even worse, which backfires at the wording used.]

Some highschooler...? Unless you forgot, that highschooler is the same brat that replaced me in a match in middle school.

[Practice match, but it didn't matter either way, he's held onto that for too long.]

Edited (renaming my icons fucked things up, whoops) 2022-01-19 15:08 (UTC)

( one of them has to be rational, and that duty has fallen to iwaizumi. not to say he doesn't have any outbursts or fantasy mentality (he does, he's a normal teenage boy), but of the two of them, he's more grounded in reality.

or, as close to it as possible, anyway.

at the very least, his own jealousy is different enough that he can see when oikawa's is actually harmful to his health. but, iwaizumi's jealousy is also an entirely different story that isn't in the mix right now.

yet, at the core of it all, this is the friendship he's chosen to have and continue because he likes oikawa. for some reason. and that choice makes him care about oikawa's wellbeing. for better or for worse. )

Sometimes I wonder how your brain works... ( though that's said more to himself than oikawa ) The ball has to eventually hit the floor. It isn't your fault, you idiot. You didn't do it on purpose.

( he sighs and scrubs his face. this is so stupid. this whole thing is stupid. he doesn't want to argue over this. he kind of wants to be depressed a little more, too. this isn't how he wanted his high school volleyball career to end. but, it has and he has to go through his own stages of grief before he can move on. but, he has to put aside everything but anger because oikawa's being selfish. )

What you're doing now is your fault, though. You have to let that go. That has nothing to do with this. He's a good player, Oikawa, you have to accept that fact and deal with it or it's going to mess you up forever.

[He wants to snap and yell that his brain works just like anyone else's, that his thoughts are perfectly fine, as well as the fact it was his fault. But something stops him. A moment of clarity? Or some kind of other thought.

Instead, he takes a deep breath and steps to the side to sit down against a wall, sliding down and tucking his knees close while refusing to make eye contact. Sitting down was probably the smarter of the two ideas in Tooru's mind, and walking off wouldn't do anything to help the current situation.]

I know... I know.

[He hates how right Iwaizumi is, and hates admitting that Kageyama is actually a good player. Even more that part of the reason is the boy watched him and learned that serve of his.]

I KNOW DAMMIT! He's good, better even! I know he's a good player and an even better setter, why do you think he pisses me off? Why do you think I want to beat him and rub it in his face that I won't lose? No matter what I do, he just keeps getting better and better.

[The other reason of why he's so bitter about it and hasn't let it go, aside from the talent and replacing him, is that he's jealous of the fact that Kageyama tossed to his ace. He didn't get pissy if Watari or Hanamaki did, only Kageyama.]

That's not the only thing that'll mess with me forever if I don't get over it.

[The last bit is barely audible, sounding more like a muffled muttering than anything clear like the sudden outburst.]

( briefly, iwaizumi wonders to himself if he started acting as oikawa does, what would happen. if he got all whiny and stupid over the dumbest things on the planet, what would oikawa do? it's probably for the best that he doesn't go down that path — and not only because it's a waste of time, but he would just never, ever do that.

but, anyway.

it's a good thing oikawa stops now instead of walking off, because iwaizumi wouldn't have followed. he would've just let him fuss and be obnoxious all on his own. he sighs again — feels like he's been doing that for a while now — and makes his way over to join oikawa. or, at least, stands over him, just in time to hear that muffled muttering. his brows knit together as he tries to figure out what that means and how it relates to what they're talking about.

he isn't really getting it. so, )

What do you mean? What's going to mess with you forever?

[Of course, of course Iwaizumi had to hear that instead of lecturing him about that jab at himself. No matter how quiet he mutters anything, his best friend always seems to have some kind of superhuman hearing when it came to him. Though, he supposes it could come in handy, but it's only caused Tooru to shoot himself in the foot because of it.

And he never learns because instead of addressing that, he waves his hand like it's nothing with a shrug, all while still refusing eye contact when Iwaizumi gets closer. Like hell he's going to admit what that meant, not when it's clear that feelings aren't the same.

But maybe he can get away with a half-truth. Maybe. Even if his expression says otherwise.]

It's nothing. Just that if I don't go and learn from Blanco, I know I'll regret it. But I'll miss you guys, and I'll have to get over the fact we can't hang out every day.

[He'd already come to terms with that a week after he decided to go to Argentina, but he'd still miss everyone.]

( how many times does he have to lecture oikawa about taking jabs at himself? surely he knows all the counter-arguments (and insults) that iwaizumi gives him. sometimes even he's tired enough to skip it and focus on something else. and that something else is...

whatever this is.

because he... isn't really sure what this is. what's going on? the expression on oikawa's face is a little suspect, but iwaizumi doesn't know what it means, either. he takes a breath (not a sigh this time, but dangerously close) and kicks oikawa's foot. not hard, a light tap, really. )

You're an idiot.

( what else can he say? oikawa is always an idiot. but, this time he thinks there's something else going on and he's not going to foce oikawa to talk about it. he'll talk when he's ready.

probably.

anyway. it's cold outside and he doesn't really want to have a little sit down chat session on the side of the road so he holds out his hand to help oikawa up. )

And what would you do if you stayed here, huh? I won't be here, anyway, and no one else would hang out with you.

Takes one to know one.

[Of course, he makes the childish remark, if only to stuff down his own bad mood further instead of snapping again when Iwaizumi kicks his foot. He knows he's an idiot, he's called himself one several times when doing stupid things or stealing glances at Iwaizumi when he should be paying attention to other things and gets nailed during practice in the head.

Or staring at the offered hand a few seconds longer before accepting the hand and getting up, although with a glare at the words spoken, keeping hold of Iwaizumi's hand a few moments longer before jerking it back and being stuffed in his pocket before letting out a huff and shaking off the glare. Maybe for once he'll think first before getting snippy.

Especially because he didn't know what he'd do, other than have an unhealthy focus on Kageyama.]

I'm sure Makki and Mattsun would! So would Yahaba, maybe Chibi-chan, since he seems to really look up to me. [a pause] You got in? When?

[If Iwaizumi had told him before, Tooru hadn't been paying attention. And if they were going to still be on the same side of the world, maybe he could risk speaking his feelings, but not until that was confirmed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only