[Hajime tightening his grip on Tooru gave him a bad feeling, similar to when they'd played their final match in high school and he'd sensed Hajime doubted himself as an ace and Tooru'd smacked him hard on the back before lining up because words wouldn't cut it at the time.
He could tell it was similar to back then, and didn't like it at all. None of it was his fault. Tooru knew that, he knew Hajime wasn't at fault for his actions, they were Tooru's actions and his fault, his choice.]
Stop. You're acting like you were when we lost to those crows.
[Another deep breath, with an exhale and stubborn tone in his voice. Usually it had been Hajime reminding him of things, but Tooru was equally as capable of verbal reassurances, he just preferred to give them with physical affection.]
I still made my choice, and I don't regret it. I would have still come running after you even if you did answer your phone. It's like when I told Ushiwaka I didn't regret choosing Seijoh over Shiratorizawa. I don't regret going out to find you, even with what happened.
[A small huff, trying to put his words together to make sure Hajime would understand that Tooru isn't blaming him.]
And I'm here now, right? I didn't die, through some messed up luck, I lived. I'm here. With you. Right now. So don't blame yourself over what happened back then, I'm not blaming you... Even if what I said earlier was the opposite. I don't blame you, I blame the bastard that turned me into this.
[And Tooru would kill the wolf that did it when he found them, it's part of what motivated him to keep going.]
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dancing_serpent
(no subject)
Date: 12 December 2021 02:28 (UTC)He could tell it was similar to back then, and didn't like it at all. None of it was his fault. Tooru knew that, he knew Hajime wasn't at fault for his actions, they were Tooru's actions and his fault, his choice.]
Stop. You're acting like you were when we lost to those crows.
[Another deep breath, with an exhale and stubborn tone in his voice. Usually it had been Hajime reminding him of things, but Tooru was equally as capable of verbal reassurances, he just preferred to give them with physical affection.]
I still made my choice, and I don't regret it. I would have still come running after you even if you did answer your phone. It's like when I told Ushiwaka I didn't regret choosing Seijoh over Shiratorizawa. I don't regret going out to find you, even with what happened.
[A small huff, trying to put his words together to make sure Hajime would understand that Tooru isn't blaming him.]
And I'm here now, right? I didn't die, through some messed up luck, I lived. I'm here. With you. Right now. So don't blame yourself over what happened back then, I'm not blaming you... Even if what I said earlier was the opposite. I don't blame you, I blame the bastard that turned me into this.
[And Tooru would kill the wolf that did it when he found them, it's part of what motivated him to keep going.]