[Maybe that was what he was. A hot head. A 'do everything yourself' type. Maybe he was an asshole, awkwardly bumbling through life because he found people hard to read. Volleyball was easier. Identifying where the ball would go and the precise place to send it for maximum effect was simple. But people?
Kageyama slowed to a stop.]
...
The way you are... The way you act with people. I'm jealous of that. I'm only good at this. Volleyball. It... [He frowned, glaring down at the ground like it had somehow offended him. Kageyama didn't want to look up. Didn't want to see how Oikawa was taking this confession of his.
But it was a two-way street. If Oikawa was saying things then he should as well, right?]
What's the point in being jealous of me? You're already the best. You call me a genius, so what? If it's true it's the only thing I have. Why does it matter? Take it away and I'm nobody.
[No one would notice him. No one would care. All he had was volleyball. Luckily it was something he loved to near obsession. It was something he was good at. Something he could focus on, understand, something that took his mind off of how damn lonely he could get.
Because being part of a team, a team that had actually gone to great lengths to help him, gave him friends by default. He could even grudgingly admit that the idiot Hinata was a friend. But take volleyball away and he'd have nothing. Take volleyball away from Oikawa and he'd still have the world at his feet. Kageyama really couldn't understand why Oikawa was so jealous of him, when Oikawa had everything.
no subject
Kageyama slowed to a stop.]
...
The way you are... The way you act with people. I'm jealous of that. I'm only good at this. Volleyball. It... [He frowned, glaring down at the ground like it had somehow offended him. Kageyama didn't want to look up. Didn't want to see how Oikawa was taking this confession of his.
But it was a two-way street. If Oikawa was saying things then he should as well, right?]
What's the point in being jealous of me? You're already the best. You call me a genius, so what? If it's true it's the only thing I have. Why does it matter? Take it away and I'm nobody.
[No one would notice him. No one would care. All he had was volleyball. Luckily it was something he loved to near obsession. It was something he was good at. Something he could focus on, understand, something that took his mind off of how damn lonely he could get.
Because being part of a team, a team that had actually gone to great lengths to help him, gave him friends by default. He could even grudgingly admit that the idiot Hinata was a friend. But take volleyball away and he'd have nothing. Take volleyball away from Oikawa and he'd still have the world at his feet. Kageyama really couldn't understand why Oikawa was so jealous of him, when Oikawa had everything.
Kageyama took a deep breath and his eyes closed.]
Maybe... I want to be somebody... to someone...